Dear Dr. Romance:
Wow! I was going to check my mail and "Age Differences in Dating" popped up. I am dating a younger guy, he pursued me. after first I had doubts about us talking because of our age difference but he kept on insisting that age was just a number. But then came to find out his father is my boss. I told him it would be best if he told his dad about us instead of hearing it from other people. We both work for the same company. He sat down and talked to his dad about me and because of our age difference he stopped seeing me. 6 months later after going thru ups and downs of missing him and seeing him at work he paged me asking me was I going to keep ignoring him and not speaking so behind his parents' back we are still seeing each other.
I know he has a lot to deal with at home his mom bipolar. I been with him for a long time now dealing with all of his mood swings. I even suggested maybe he needs to explore or be with other women his age but he said no. I offered to give him space he even said no to that. I wish we can spend more time together and go out more but now his parents question his whereabouts. I don't know what to do. My feelings for him have grown to loving him and being patient with our situation. We don't want to call it off. Can you please help me out?
I would like for his parents to accept our relationship but they are not aware that he chose to keep seeing me without them knowing. We have agreed to take our relationship slow and take it day by day.
Dear Reader:
It sounds as if you two are doing OK, it's the parents that are a problem. You haven't told me his age or yours, but as long as he is an adult, I don't think his parents have a right to interfere. I recommend that you stop worrying and just enjoy what you have, for as long as you have it.
If his dad is your boss, then you're jeopardizing your job, so why not find another job, so you can date openly? Try not to create any extra drama with his parents. In my experience, once they know they can't change their son's decision, the parents will most likely come around. "Coping with Critics" will help you learn to deal with his parents and others who disapprove. "Creating Family Acceptance" shows both of you how to connect with his family. "What is a Dysfunctional Relationship?" helps you keep your relationship healthy.
It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction contains exercises and information that will help your partner and you understand better why he has trouble standing up for himself and you. How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together will help you create a loving relationship.
For low-cost phone counseling, email me at [email protected]