Dear Dr. Romance:
I just saw write up on the issue of age differences in relationships This have been a great issue for me, I make friends easily with people and at the end of the day they want a relationship and all to find that am older than them. Its been happening to me for sometime now and I have said no to about three guys because of the age issue. They don't mind about the age they just like my personality and I don't know what to do.
The first guy I wanted to date but I was three years older and I couldn't handle that. The second guy, i was two years older and now I am so much in love with a guy who is eight years younger than me. I don't know what to do, at times I feel I could go out with someone younger, but I fear what my family will think of the issue and I know they might not accept it.
Presently, I am in love with someone eight years younger. We both love and respect each other greatly and solve problems maturely. He doesn't have a problem with that but the major issue at hand now is the religion. We are both Christians but from different religions. He´s a Jehovah Witness and am a Pentecostal, they don't believe in celebrating Christmas, Birthdays etc. like we do. We both know we have differences, but we can't let go of each other that easy. He loves me so much and says he doesn't know what he will do seeing me in another man's arms.
I love him too but am scared of my family's reaction. His has a friend who has been pressuring him to end the relationship, and they even got a fight. It's not been easy. I love him, but what should I do?
Dear Reader:
I don't think the age difference is your real problem. I doubt if an eight-year difference would really upset anyone, even if you are a little older. The real problem, I think, is the difference in religion. It's a big problem, and it's not easy to talk about, but it must be resolved if your relationship is to succeed. Can you and your boyfriend figure out how your life would work if you were married? What would you do about religion, family and friends? However much you love each other, if you can't work these issues out, love may not be enough to sustain the relationship. Try reading my article "Stupid Cupid" for better understanding of how to work this out. Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences will help you talk about your differences and how to work together to resolve them.
For low-cost phone counseling, email me at [email protected]
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