Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm in my early twenties. I got to this country a few years ago from the Mideast. I used to love this lady I'm in my early twenties. I met this lady that was in her thirties, we dated for a couple years then she offered to marry me to improve my immigrant status. I used to love this lady that is as old as my mom and everything was fine while we were dating, but as soon as I put the ring on her finger the cover got blown away, and her action shifted.
The whole reason for her idea is to have a young handsome man to show off, and because of my immigration status and her knowing that I'm basically stuck, she runs my life like a prison.
I'm going through a lot of stress, accusations, control, and mental games just because of my situation. Immigration laws force you to stay married 5 years to that person in order for you to get legal in the USA, regardless of the circumstances that the marriage is going through. When we first got married I didn't have a job, so she forced me to get one and I don't see nothing wrong with that, but I can't understand why she says that I can't work with women and I work so much and I'm cheating every time I can't answer the phone. I lost three jobs because of her coming to my job sites "inspecting" her husband and whatever.
I know a lot of other people who are going through the same exact thing for the same reason and a couple of cases people got deported back where they came from (Arabs and Mexicans) just because their wife, and in a few cases husbands, got what they wanted out of the relationship and they wouldn't sign the "release "form (a paper the sponsor signs saying that he or she is really married to that person and they been together all the 5 years ) reminding you that they were taking the money the time and the life of the other person the whole time and then refuse to sign.
If you decide to use my story please don't mention any names .
Dear Reader:
This is about getting married for the wrong reasons. You wanted to become a US citizen, and so this lady offered to help you do that, if you married her. That was the bargain, and now you don't like the cost. The good news is, you have only one year to go. Try to make the best of it, and get your citizenship, and then when you've put in the five years, you can make a new choice. It sounds like she doesn't trust you, because she recognizes that this was not a good reason for marriage.
Perhaps if you try listening to what she wants, she'll be able to hear what you want. "Asking for What you Want" will teach you a better way to communicate. You two don't trust each other, so "Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude" will help you calm down and approach things differently.
How to Be Happy Partners: Working It Out Together will help both of you understand each other.
For low-cost phone counseling, email me at [email protected]
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