Dr. Romance Blog

Dr. Romance's New Book: Lovestyles: How to Celebrate Your Differences

Dr. Romance is delighted to announce a new Kindle ebook:

Lovestyles: How to Celebrate Your Differences

Lovers have differences --
different desires,
different values,
different needs,
different styles.
Discover your style.
Understand your partner's.
And make the differences work
to enrich your life.

THE MORE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER ARE DIFFERENT, THE MORE YOU NEED THIS BOOK

You’ll find it delightfully refreshing in its approach to showing you how to use the differences in your lives to bring you closer together.

No two people have exactly the same idea of what it takes to be succesful in love. Most of us believe there is a “right” way to love, and if only we could figure it out, our loneliness and relationship struggles would all melt away.

In this book, you’ll learn that everyone has a unique lovestyle, and there are many “right” ways to love. Discover what lovestyles are, how they evolve, how to communicate about love, and how to use your differences to create romance and excitement in your relationships. You can make your differences work for you to enrich your partnership and your lives.

“Perceptual and practical exercises to synthesize differences and encourage long-term results” As seen on Oprah, CNN and Larry King Live.

Lovestyles is for:

* Single people seeking ot create a successful relationship
* Couples who feel “stuck” or want to improve their partnership
* People whose past relationships felt confining, uncomfortable or unworkable.

“There are only a handful of people in the United States who are writing books that are helping society look at things in new ways, as opposed to those already part of the consensus. Tina Tessina is one of that handful” - Warren Farrell, author of Why Men Are the Way They Are

“Most people do things for their loved ones that reflect how they want to be treated. But the Platinum Rule is: Do unto others as they would wish you did unto them. And there is no better way to explore each other's needs than to follow the journaling suggestions in this book." -- Amazon customer review

Win a Copy of Money, Sex and Kids

Dr. Romance is please to report that Plus Size Mommy blog has reviewed Money, Sex and Kids and is offering a copy as a contest prize!  

 

Plus Size Mommy  says:
”I recently had the chance to read and review this very insightful book. It is very easy to read and understand and extremely helpful. It actually provides sample scripts and exercises to read on how to handle arguments and marital conflicts.
It really has great tips and ways to help you understand each other….

"In this book I love the outlined guidelines, situations, Struggles, and solutions.
I believe this is a wonderful resource for anyone in a marriage, if you are having problems or not, because a lot of the techniques can be used if modified in other situations. This is a very good book that I highly recommend.

"Especially with the holidays just ending, a lot of people are working on new 2009 budgets and money may be an issue right now. This book may REALLY come in handy! SOOOO...

"The wonderful author Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. has offered a book to one of my lucky readers as a giveaway on my blog.
Here is how to enter this giveaway:

Divorce360 Review: The Commuter Marriage

BOOK REVIEW: Divorce360 was kind enough to review Dr. Romance's The Commuter Marriage, and accompany it with an interview:

From Military Couples to Job Travelers, Author Gives Tips to Connect during Long Absences

                                                                                                     by Divorce360.COM

Do you know a married couple who live far apart because of their jobs? Are you one of those couples? If you answered yes to one or both, you're one of the millions of American couples in a commuter marriage.

Whether your spouse is a long-distance trucker or stationed overseas in the military, long-distance marriages are becoming more common in the United States. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of married Americans who said their spouses lived elsewhere -- not including those who were separated -- increased 21 percent from 1994 to 1998 -- to 2.1 million.

Today, more than 3.2 million American couples live separately because of their jobs, a 26 percent increase since 1999, according to Tina B. Tessina, a Long Beach, Calif., therapist and author of a number of self-help relationship books.

"Most of the literature on commuter marriage maintains that many more wives follow their husbands to new locations because of career, than husbands who follow wives, which is also what my counseling practice reflects," Tessina said. "But, because women are becoming more career-oriented, they are often less willing to just pick up from a job they love and move because hubby had a great offer somewhere else." (see interview)

Want a Healthy Marriage? Don't Be Afraid to Fight

Here's an article by Kathy Sena,  in Ground Report:

A fight with your spouse now and then may be good for your health, new research suggests. But it’s all in how you do it. Couples in which both the husband and wife suppress their anger when one verbally attacks the other die earlier than members of couples where one or both partners express their anger and resolve the conflict, according to preliminary results from a University of Michigan study.(more)

For down-to-earth tips on how to resolve fights constructively — and lovingly (it’s possible!), check out Money, Sex and Kids (Adams Media; 2007; $14.95) by Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. a psychotherapist in private practice in Long Beach, California. Tessina isn’t afraid to tackle the three biggies in most marriages. Her tips for understanding each other better during an argument make a lot of sense:

°    Seek first to understand.
°    Pay attention to how your words are landing.
°    Focus on the solution.
°    Separate emotion from solution.
°    Don’t beat dead horses.
°    Be nice.

What Really Matters about Sex: Dr. Romance on the Vicky and Jen show

Listen to Dr. Romance on podcast!   The Vicky and Jen Show "What Really Matters"

Podcast #84 Title: Marriage and Sex

Guest: Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., A.K.A. Dr. Romance, Author and Psychotherapist

Description:
Ladies, who hasn’t had a headache, yet declared that we do?  Today we're talking about ways to bring intimacy back into your marriage so you don't have to pretend anymore . . . Dr. Romance is here to share sexy tips for busy couples who want to fight boredom in the bedroom.

Duration: 49:18

Dr. Romance on "Bridging the Gap" radio show

Stop Fighting About Money, Sex, and Kids - Jun 16,2008  
Dr.Tina Tessina, popular author and therapist with 30 years of counseling experience, shows couples how to deal with their differences surrounding these divisive issues and resolve them before divorce court is the only option.
Bridging the Gap Radio Show -  Blog Talk Radio   Call in number 347-215-8691

Sunday, 06/15/08 @ 6:00 PM PDT  -- use link to get your time zone

Dr. Romance interviewed on Words To Mouth

A Conversation with Dr. Tina Tessina, Ph.D., L.M.F.T.  from Words to Mouth

Dr. Tina Tessina, Ph.D., L.M.F.T. is a licensed psychotherapist in Southern California. “Dr. Romance,” as she’s known, has 30 years counseling experience, both individuals and couples, and has published 13 books in 16 languages, including her latest release, Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media Jan 2008) and the forthcoming The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart. (Adams Media, June  2008).
 
Carrie:  What inspired you to write Money, Sex, and Kids?
 
Tina:  In my work with couples, I see a lot of problems created by a habit of fighting, and I’ve developed a lot of strategies to change those old bad habits and give couples something new to do that works better.

Carrie:  What is the primary message you’d like your readers to take away from this book? 

Tina:  You can have a loving partnership, full of sweetness and effective planning and decision making.  It’s not hard to create.

Carrie:  Tell us about your writing process.

Tina:  I essentially re-create the counseling process I use with couples, including case histories, dialog and exercises just as I use them in successful counseling.

Carrie:  The process of writing a book is not easy, to say the least. What motivated you to keep going, especially in those times when it was far from convenient to write? 

Tina:  Well, this is my 12th book, so I’ve got the process down by now, and it’s help I really want to make available to couples.

Carrie:  Who are your favorite authors and who influenced your writing? Besides your own, of course, which authors and/or books do you recommend to readers? Why?

Tina:  I love Anne Lamott’s honesty and clarity.  I have been influenced by Carl Rogers, Robert Bly, Albert Ellis, Eric Berne, James Hillman, Thomas Szasz, Ken Wilbur, Marsha Sinetar, Virginia Satir and others.  I studied Gestalt therapy, Transactional Analysis Rational Emotive Therapy and many other modes.  The book which best captures my modality is Ken Wilbur’s Integral Therapy.  I also read a lot of research.

Carrie:  Can you offer a glimpse into your “real life” and share with us a bit of your personal life—what’s important to you (i.e., hobbies, passions, causes, family)?

Tina:  I am blessed to have a wonderful marriage, we just celebrated 26 years on May 9.  There are other loving people in my life — I have very good friends.  Richard and I love our three little dogs, our old 1918 California Bungalow near the beach, and being able to do the counseling work that I love is also a blessing.

Carrie:  Tell us something surprising about you and/or something very few people know about you.

Tina:  I am a trained opera singer, and for several years, I gave a recital.  I love making music, I’ve written song lyrics and poetry.

Carrie:  Would you be willing to share your biggest failure and how it changed your life? How about your biggest success, personal and/or professional and how it affected your perspective?

Tina:  My biggest failure was the first marriage that I made when I was 20, right after my Dad died.  That divorce got me into therapy, where I processed years of grief all at once, and began to restructure my ideas about relationships, love, friendship and marriage.  That therapy led to my putting myself through college in order to become a licensed psychotherapist.  My biggest success is just surviving the tragedy of losing all my family by age 18, and turning it into my greatest strength.  I’ve had so many amazing opportunities, including a series of book tours in Latin America, where I got to work with translators and people of other cultures. I toured Mexico, Costa Rica, Columbia and was a featured speaker at the Feria Internacional, the International Book Fair in Guadalajara, Mexico.

Carrie:  What’s next for you ~ Anything else you’d like to offer?

Tina:  Life is one learning process after another.  Now, I’m learning to use virtual reality on the Internet, and it’s very exciting.

for more --see whole interview, including book excerpt. on Words to Mouth

Rolf Dobelli reviews Money, Sex and Kids

Resolving problems in your marriage, May 8, 2008 By Rolf Dobelli "getabstract.com" (Luzern Switzerland) The answer is, "money, sex and kids." What is the question? "What are the three issues that stir up the most trouble in a marriage?" If you find yourself endlessly fighting with your spouse, you may have something in common with the hundreds of couples Dr. Tina B. Tessina has counseled who continually bump heads over these emotionally charged issues. Tessina, a.k.a. "Dr. Romance," shows you how to stop arguing and focus on collaboration. She provides effective strategies and techniques, including fighting do's and don'ts, budgeting advice, tactics for improving intimacy and exercises for spouses to share. Although the contents are not as innovative as the catchy title, Tessina's focus on problem solving, mutual support and honest communication can buttress any challenging relationship. If one, two or all three of these divisive issues are threatening to derail your marriage, getAbstract believes this book may help you get back on track.

Dr. Romance Interviewed about Money, Sex and Kids

DR. Romance answers questions about
Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams media, 2008) ISBN: 978-1-59869-325-6

Who is the intended audience?
Married and committed couples; people whose previous fighting has ruined  relationships; couples contemplating marriage and parenthood.

What is the book about?

Money, Sex and Kids are the big three conflicts that can erode even the  strongest marriages.  This prescriptive, practical guide shows partners how to deal with their differences in these critical areas and to resolve them before the take the toll on the relationship. Dr. Tessina offers struggling
couples a fresh look at what it means to be married -- and what it takes to  stay that way.  Any willing pair can learn to build a happy relationship if  they have the tools taught in this book.

Why are you the best person to write this book?
I'm a California licensed marriage counselor in private practice with thirty  years' experience counseling couples, and teaching them how to make their  marriage struggle-free.  Unlike many other relationship 'gurus,' I have the  real experience in what goes wrong and how to fix it.  I have also been  divorced and then happily re-married for twenty-five years, so I have lived  through the destruction of one marriage, and learned to create a happy  second partnership. My personal experience informs my professional  expertise.

How is this book different from other books on this topic?
Because I've helped so many couples solve the problems and create loving  marriages, my book provides real dialogs of married couples showing how they  changed their interactions, guidelines and exercises which teach couples how  to fix problems, and cogent explanations and information about what works
and why it works.  Throughout the book, you'll follow couples as they  struggle and learn to solve their disagreements.

Is there anything else we should know about this book?
If you're having trouble with any of the 'big three' marriage issues; if you've  already had the awful experience of a ruined relationship; or if you're  contemplating marriage and worried about struggling; Money, Sex and Kids  will be your guidebook to success in your relationships.

Was it Fate that brought Long Beach authors to Shore Books?

Dr. Romance booksigning

It must have been destiny that brought Long Beach authors Tina B. Tessina and Sheri O. Zampelli together. The authors, who are signing their brand-new books at Shore Books in Belmont Shore on Saturday, April 19, at 7:00 PM, have an interesting story of how they met.

"I first heard about Tina Tessina in 1989", says Sheri, "when my grandmother handed me a copy of The Real 13th Step   and said, ‘This woman knows what she's talking about.’ Many years later I discovered that Tessina lives and practices therapy in Long Beach and I wanted to meet her."

In 2003, Sheri attended a book signing for Tessina’s It Ends With You and shortly after invited Tina to be a speaker at Sheri’s LBCC "Introduction to Addictive Behaviors" class. "Tina Tessina was able to present information about addiction and the brain so everyone was able to understand and benefit." enthuses Sheri. "My students loved her and talked about her for weeks after her presentation."

"As a thank-you, Sheri gave me a lovely basket of goodies, which included her hypnosis CD," says Tessina, "and I loved it! She has such a soothing voice, and she understands how to create positive, life changing thought. I went to Sheri for some hypnosis sessions, she told me about her grandmother, and we’ve been friends and colleagues ever since."

Since then, Tessina and Zampelli have come to know each other better and better and now have a working friendship. They have so much in common. "I'm very pleased that Tina Tessina and I will be working to promote our books together," says Sheri, "and I hope that by working as a team we will not only benefit each other but also serve as role models for other women. There truly is power in working together."

Saturday, April 19, 2008, 7:00 PM Shore Books and Art Gallery, 3064 East Broadway, Long Beach CA 90803 Phone: 562-433-9633

Tina B. Tessina signs her newest book, Money Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media 2008)

                                                                                        

Sheri O.Zampelli signs her newest book, Donate Your Weight: The Stress-Free Program to Stop Dieting, Get Slim and Help Others While Doing It (iUniverse 2008)

Come hear us speak, ask us questions, and stay after to chat.