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A Little Book on the Human Shadow By Robert Bly If you really want to understand yourself, and overcome whatever seems out of control in you, it's essential to understand what the shadow side is, and how to work with it. This simple little book really lays it out clearly. One of my favorites. |
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Peony in Love by Lisa See, Random House, hardcover (2007) ISBN-10: 140006466X | |||||||
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"When you get married, you promise to love and cherish 'for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health'...but what about 'for near or far?' When the circumstances of life put a bit of distance between husband and wife, Tina Tessina provides the perfect insights and solutions for keeping close across the miles. Couples who sense a challenge in their long-distance situations will learn how to communicate and keep their equality in their home, handle anxiety and jealousies, get creative and flexible in finding solutions...and then those Welcome Homes are all the sweeter! Whether you travel for work or just keep opposite shifts, the greatest gift you can get for your marriage is this book!" -- Sharon Naylor, author of The Bride's Diplomacy Guide and Love Bets.
"Tina Tessina's The Commuter Marriage is the guidebook for which so many couples have been longing. Always practical, logical, and extremely sympathetic, Dr. Tessina lays it all out - the points to consider, the do's and don'ts, the potential pitfalls and, yes, even the advantages of this very modern phenomenon. No one should even think about making arrangements for a long distance relationship without her book in hand." - Isadora Alman, MFT Board certified sex therapist and author of Doing It: Real People Having Really Good Sex.
"An inspiring, insightful book for husbands and wives who desire a fuller, more satisfying and healthier relationship. It offers a variety of practical solutions to assist and empower married couples in creating a productive, gratifying and meaningful lifestyle that works best for their family. Every married couple should read it!" -- Hogan Hilling, The Modern Mom's Guide to Dads
"As a public safety psychologist, I work with police and fire fighter families as they struggle with shift work and emergency deployments. Help is on the way. Dr. Tessina's easy-to-read new book, The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart is full of sage advice, tips, and skill building exercises for a range of topics from the practicalities of managing time, money and childcare to the emotional challenges of intimacy, communication, and jealousy. Along the way, she shows the reader how real couples cope with a variety of long and short term separations." -- Ellen Kirschman, Ph.D. author of I Love a Cop: What Police Families Need to Know and I Love a Fire Fighter: What the Family Needs to Know
"More and more couples find themselves married (or together) while spending significant amounts of time apart. Problems with childcare, intimacy, emotional support and household management can make "commuter marriages" difficult -- but relationship author, columnist and private-practice therapist Tina Tessina has seen it all.
"In The Commuter Marriage, Dr. Tessina presents practical exercises and commonsense advice for intimacy, parenting, divvying chores, keeping anxiety -- and jealousy -- at bay, and even such small, but important, things as getting used to sleeping alone.
"As the frequently traveling half of a couple, I found terrific techniques here for dealing with the practical aspects of running a household apart from a partner. Not to mention the fellowship that comes from knowing that, in living together-but-sometimes-alone, I am not, in fact, alone." -- C.K. Lowe, journalist and author of Everything Health Guide to OCD
"She's done it again. Like her many other helpful books, this one is just loaded with practical do-able suggestions. Sometimes you just want to say, "Why didn't I/We think of that!!" But in the midst of the issues one doesn't. Other suggestions you may have thought of, but decided they were probably not any good, and Dr. Tessina gives you courage to try. I plan to give this to several friends immediately." Rev. Dr. Mary Ellen Kilsby, Pastor Emeritus, First Congregational Church, Long Beach, CA
"In an age when most of us are separated by long distance and time or apart because of demanding schedules, this book hits a chord. Simple, straight-forward, practical, and compassionate, this book offers just-in-time wonderful advice for our crazy-busy lives. I need it!" -- Eileen McDargh, international speaker and author of Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life's Complexities and Work for a Living & Still be Free to
Live.
"With so many couples living apart at least some of the time, Tina has written an enlightening book with lots of tips and insights into keeping a commuter relationship healthy." -- Daylle Deanna Schwartz, self-empowerment counselor and author of 9 books, including All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise.
"Tina Tessina's advice to commuting couples is thoughtful, direct and smart. She provides a straight-talking but sympathetic roadmap through a situation that can be full of stress." - Maryn McKenna, author, Beating Back the Devil: on the Front Lines with TheDisease Detectives of the Epidemic Intelligence Service
"In today’s economy, we sometimes need to go where the jobs are — even if that means temporarily living far from home. Tessina helps parents keep their marriage, kids and sanity together with solid tips for staying close to your children, and parenting as a couple, while you’re apart." -- Kathy Sena "Parent Talk Today" blog
"If you’re in a commuter relationship, or considering one, you and your partner should read this book cover to cover. Dr. Tessina anticipates every challenge you’re likely to face, and gives a solid perspective and self-help exercises for dealing with each one. Learn how to keep your marriage close when you’re apart and re-unite when you’re together. The Commuter Marriage stands out because it is up to date – for example, using current technology to share thoughts and photos – and because Dr. Tessina is a world-class expert on making relationships work." – Joan Price, , author of Better than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty.
"If more women in commuter marriages read Tina Tessina's book they might not have to read mine. This is a down-to-earth, practical, extremely helpful guide to staying together when circumstances conspire to keep you apart." -- Erica Manfred, author, He's History;
You're Not, the Girlfriends Guide to Mid and Late Live Divorce.
"As a specialist in modern women, I often refer my readers to Tina Tessina and her books. Tina writes in a way that is relevant, interesting and her unique style resonates particularly well with women and the challenges they face in modern relationships." -- Kylie Welsh, journalist and author of Impertinent Women? Women In Pursuit Of The Extraordinary!
"The Commuter Marriage takes a practical and proactive approach to handing the challenges inherent in a commuter marriage. Author Tina Tessina explores the many issues that couples face when living apart--from coping with the financial cost of “distance marriages” to staying close emotionally even when separated by miles. The personal stories provide a valuable insider’s viewpoint, highlighting the unique experiences of couples in commuter marriages. By following the recommendations and advice in The Commuter Marriage, couples will not only be able to successfully weather their time apart but will bring a new perspective to their time together." -- Nancy Christie author of The Gifts of Change and creator of www.communityofchange.com
"In The Commuter Marriage, Dr Tina Tessina expertly addresses a 21st century reality -- that more and more couples are in long-distance relationships, because of work, shift differences, or military deployment. The exercises, case histories and guidelines in this book will help any couple negotiate the thorny issues -- including communication from afar, maintaining intimacy, co-parenting at a distance, and re-entry. Any couple facing separation would benefit from this book." -- Lisa Earle McLeod, Author of Finding Grace When You Can't Even Find Clean Underwear
"Being far apart doesn't mean you can't be close. –The Commuter Marriage is a good guide for couples who want to stop arguing about finances." Stacie Z. Berg, award-winning journalist and author of several books, including The Unofficial Guide to Managing Your Personal Finances
"As a licensed marriage counselor, I appreciate the practical and effective advice in Dr. Tessina's book. These are the major issues for commuting couples, and the exercises and information in these pages will help any couple navigate them." -- Riley K. Smith, M.A., MFT, Author of How to Be A Couple and Still Be Free, and True Partners
"As Dr. Tessina says, commuter marriages are not new. I was married for over 40 years to the late Rudy Bond, an actor who spent much of his time in Hollywood or on the road in plays. Our marriage worked very well, perhaps better than a more conventional one, as we both were people who needed our space. Each coming together was a honeymoon. This intelligent book will help other commuting couples achieve success." -- Dr. Alma H. Bond, psychoanalyst and author of several books, including Who Killed Virginia Woolf? A Psychobiography
Dr. Romance's review:
Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes The jokes in here are timeless -- I've heard versions of some of them before, and learned some new ones. At times, I was laughing out loud, or reading the jokes to friends.
But there's more here, too. I've studied philosophy before, though I am not a master of the subject. This little book made me think about various schools of thought, and even clarified some points. A good read for anyone who's curious about philosophical thought, or who has a smattering, as I do, and would like an entertaining way to clarify the differences. Very amusing.
by Sheri O. Zampelli
After years of frustration struggle, reading diet book after diet book that were later proven false, I got very discouraged and frustrated. Menopause, low thyroid, and some difficult life challenges made it impossible for me to lose weight, though I was eating healthy food and working out 5 or 6 times a week. Sheri's book really helped me shed my anxiety about food, conquer my food rules, and get past my anger. It really made a difference for me. I highly recommend it to anyone who has forgotten how to trust your own body, and the wisdom inside.
Her clever idea of donating your weight is a wonderful motivator.
Dr. Romance reviews The Modern Mom's Guide to Dad: Ten Secrets Your Husbands Won't Tell You by Hogan HIlling and Jesse Jayne Rutherford
As a psychotherapist who works with couples, I know what "baby shock" is, and the difficulties even good marriages have when the first baby arrives. Hogan's book is the perfect solution. It's a readable, down-to earth guide for both moms and dads that covers, frankly and directly, all the major issues parents have.
I loved the Hogan's Slogans, like "Love isn't solid -- It's more like clay than a rock" and the way he uses them to teach couples how to keep their intimate connection going while dealing with all the issues of parenting.
The book has frank discussions of sexual issues, in-law issues, parental roles, and most of all, the differences in the way men and women view and approach parenting.
I'm going to recommend it to my son and his pregnant wife, and to all my clients in the same situation. Bravo, Hogan! A great read.
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Dr. Romance says: A great help to all dads
This book is such a blessing to single fathers, and, for that matter, any father. As a counselor, I frequently deal with men who have become single fathers, either through widowerhood or divorce. Sometimes, men must care for children because the mother is ill or away, as with so many military families these days. There are also many men who want to be closer to their own children and feel more competent to nurture and care for them. This book is a great answer for any dad who feels lost and alone. Fathers who read this book, even before the baby is born, will be reassured to know that parenting is a skill they can learn, and The Complete Single Father is exactly what its title says, a complete guide for any father who seeks information on expertly caring for his children. Any father, single or not, should have this close at hand, and mothers will find it useful, too. I'll recommend it to all the fathers I counsel, and it would also make a great Father's Day gift. Tina Tessina, author of Money, Sex, and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage
As a licensed marriage counselor and psychotherapist, I work with couples every day who are struggling with these three marriage problems; money, sex and kids. I wrote this book for couples who want to end the fighting, and build a successful partnership. To make it more effective, I put in case histories of couples (names changed, of course) I've worked with, as well as exercises, guidelines and the most up-to-date information on what makes relationships succeed. If you're struggling with your partner, this book will help you navigate the rough waters of intimacy, and learn how to sail smoothly together. I hope you enjoy it, and I'd love to hear from you at tina@tinatessina.com
What readers are saying about Money, Sex and Kids:
Reviews from Amazon.com
The Top Three from the Top One, By RadioProf
"I love the entire book. Dr. Tessina is one of those gifted people who write like she is peering straight into people's souls. I like very much how she shares personal asides, and tips that work in her own marriage. I like her focus on using humor and even silliness too. I've noticed how that can work with most people most of the time. I also like the weekly family meeting ideas.
I love the comments, the guidelines, the therapist's statement of ethics and the guidelines for selecting a therapist. This is soooo valuable for my students who seek counseling.
I've always taught that the three biggest reasons couples seek help are Money, Sex and Communication. A more accurate statement would be that it is a thread of communication that runs through the topics- which are; money, sex and kids that determines a relationship's success. HOW you communicate determines your success. This book is an excellent manual/training guide!
Dr. Tessina's emphasis on humor reflects a lot of what's right about the world. Charlie Chaplin said: "Life may be a tragedy in the close up, but it is a comedy in the long shot." He would have liked this book."
Tina does it again! More great advice from Dr. Romance By Aostara Kaye "Star"
I am a never-married, childless, only child. My fiancé is a divorced middle-child with custody of his young son. We have different opinions on and experiences with, well, just about everything. MONEY, SEX AND KIDS has taught us how to use this diversity to our mutual benefit.
The techniques, skills and mindsets laid out in this book (and in Tina's earlier book How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free, Third Edition) have enabled us to negotiate cooperative solutions to our problems rather than focusing on who is "right." Tina's combinations of specific real-life examples and general tips and tools have given us the ability to greatly reduce the potential for arguments, needless struggle and heartache in our relationship.
I'm particularly happy with how the "Struggle-Situation-Solution" continuum trains couples to get past the immediate "sound and fury" and discover what the argument is REAALLY about, which is the only place true cooperative problem solving can take place.
Thanks to Tina (and my fiancé's cooperation, of course), I've gone from thinking that our differences could quite possibly be insurmountable to planning for a moving day later this year. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
A Book for ALL Married Couples Who Want to Stay That Way, By Elaine Shimberg
Prolific non-fiction writer Tina Tessina, Ph.D. has written many books on women and relationships. But she really hits the bull’s-eye with MONEY,SEX, and KIDS: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage.
Although she states that "raising kids is the most complicated, puzzling, and hopefully rewarding job a couple can have," she goes on to honestly admit that "the fights about children can be the most intense and complex." Fortunately, she then describes ways that couples can work together to compromise in solving those issues.
She also lists skills that are necessary to learn in order to create a "truly loving partnership." As a licensed psychotherapist since 1978, Dr. Tessina carefully presents the struggle and the situation first, and then offers the solution to money, sex, and kids squabbles.
If this book were among the gifts given at engagement parties and appeared on book shelves of married folks, perhaps our sad statistics of divorce among first, second, and even third marriages could be reduced.
Reviewed by Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of BLENDING FAMILIES and co-author of THE COMPLETE SINGLE FATHER.
