DR. Romance Blog

Brilliant, quirky, interesting

 Between the Bridge and the River

By  Craig Ferguson

Reviewed by Dr. Romance    

 I recently discovered Craig Ferguson when I accidentally caught a monologue on his TV show, and was charmed by his accent and tickled by his humor. So, when I found he had a book, I thought I'd try it. What a surprise! It's psychologically fascinating, full of strange, quirky but sympathetic characters and some Jungian philosophy (plus appearances by Carl Jung himself) The story is compelling, but the characters are what kept me reading. Inbetween there are surprisingly deep thoughts about the meaning of life and death. Craig Ferguson turns out to be a much deeper guy than his comedy reveals. I look forward to future books. 

Too modern for me

The Brontë Project: A Novel of Passion, Desire, and Good PR
by Jennifer Vandever

The Brontë Project: A Novel of Passion, Desire, and Good PR Vandever certainly knows a lot about Charlotte Bronte, her family and her life -- so I suspect the Bronte scholar part is somewhat autobiographical. Once I got into it, this brief story kept my interest, but it is ultimately disappointing. The modern sensibility of young people searching for happiness but unable to love or commit to anything annoys the heck out of me. There is nothing wrong with loving and being loved, with settling down and going deep with someone. It's life's greatest adventure, and it's trivialized here into silliness. This will certainly find its way to being a movie -- it's very visual, and it's just as dissatisfying as most modern movies are.   

 

Helpful, Sensible, Smart

				Pressured Parents, Stressed-out Kids: Dealing With Competition While Raising a Successful Child by Wendy S. Grolnick, Kathy Seal
As a therapist in private practice, I deal with many stressed-out parents who are worn out, frantically trying to raise children who can compete. They've bought the myth that they need to micromanage their children. Grolnick and Seal have written a wonderful antidote for these parents. I especially like Chapter 10: "Calming Down," because it gives these parents sensible and practical help in achieving the calm they need to follow the advice in the rest of the book. Well done, authors. I'm going to recommend it to the parents in my practice.

God must love Anne Lamott, and so do I

    Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith
by Anne Lamott
  
               

OK, so I loved Anne Lamott before I read this book, but now I love her more. Her lecture agent once told me that Anne had a problem when people who read her books thought they were friends, because, of course, she doesn't know them. Well, if I ever saw her in person, I'd want to hug her, too. She writes with such clarity, such fearless honesty, such humanness. She shares and validates my faith in a God who understands brokenness and the grace of striving to heal, to be better than you are. Reading "Plan B" is a healing journey -- I laughed out loud and cried. I will read it over and over, as I do two of her other books, Bird by Bird and Traveling Mercies.  These are great guides for your emotional and spiritual journeys, and wonderful to read when you're feeling blue.  -- Dr. Romance
 

Literary, gothic, a paean to writing

 

Dr. Romance reviews:

The Thirteenth Tale: A Novel 
by Diane Setterfield
               

As a writer of non-fiction, I have very little time for fiction reading, though I love it, so I'm very picky about what I read. Most modern critical darlings leave me cold. So, I wasn't expecting too much when I opened this book, but I found myself loving it!

Yes, it has suspense, off-stage violence, and even a ghost -- none of which I usually like, but it also has gorgeous writing, fascinating characters, and a great plot. It was fascinating to my psychologist's mind, and enthralling. It is part Gothic; part fantasy fiction, part suspense novel. I loved the protagonist's love affair with books.

It's the most enjoyable novel I've read since "Possession" -- and, although there's no great romance, it is a love story. I don't know if it will be made into a movie, but it probably should.   

The Greatest Book on Intimacy

Dr. Romance says:

 

This book is so helpful! As a licensed psychotherapist and couples' counselor, I use my copy in therapy sessions all the time -- I used it in three sessions just this week. 

 

Couples are confused about chemistry, intimacy, and why they get turned off when they were once so turned on. This book makes the dance of intimacy crystal clear. I often recommend it to clients and pull it off my shelf during sessions to illustrate a concept. It's an easy read, with a sense of humor, and it tells the truth in a way that couples can understand.

 

If you're confused about why you're feeling unwanted, turned off, unloved or unappreciated in your relationship, The Two Step will explain it to you.

Fun, Helpful, Interesting

Dr. Romance reviews:              

Never Kiss a Frog: A Girl's Guide to Creatures from the Dating Swamp by Marilyn Anderson
This is dating humor and advice from someone who's been around the swamp! As a licensed psychotherapist and counselor, I see a lot of women who keep kissing these frogs and can't figure out why they don't turn into princes (To be fair, guys encounter froggy girls, too) Even if your particular frog might turn out to be someone else's prince, he's not going to transform for you. Anderson's advice -- livened up with her own illustrations -- is to jettison that frog!

This book is fun, yes, but it's also really helpful to women who just can't seem to get that the guy they're fixated on isn't good relationship material. By describing the different kinds of frogs, and how to handle each one, the author is doing a great service - and making it fun, to boot!

This would be a great gift for a girl party --the whole group would be laughing and sharing stories in a moment! 
 
It's a great companion for my own The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again

The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again

A review by Marilyn Anderson: Author, Never Kiss a Frog
Marilyn, whom you may know as the dating coach from Extreme Makeover, was kind enough to review Dr. Romance's book:
    

Tina Tessina has written a wonderful book on dating that tells it like it is! There's "life" out there in the singles world - and she tells you how to make the most of it. The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again is informative and quick-paced with all kinds of practical advice that makes getting back in the dating scene easy. The chapters are smart and right on target.

I know so many men and women who need to read and re-read her sections on: "Not just looking for dates but enjoying life," "Invite Interest by Showing Interest," and "Focus on Fun and Friendship." Too many people don't do this - and its soooo important! Even if you've been out in the dating world a while, this book is a great way to brush up on your dating skills and review some new possibilities. In fact, I think a lot of married couples would perk up their relationships by reading the sections on Sexual Intimacy and Communication!

For people re-entering the dating scene after being attached a long time, author Tessina takes the fear out of going back to being single. This should be on the "Gift Registry" for anyone who's ever been divorced!

So if you'd rather die than date - don't! Get yourself a copy of this book and you'll be ready in no time for dinner and a movie with someone new. It's a terrific guide for both men and women back in the dating scene.
 

   

Brilliant, devastating, courageous

 

 

 

    

If I Am Missing or Dead: A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation By Janine Latus

 

Reviewed by Dr. Romance

 

As a counselor who helps women recover from abuse, rape and incest, I find this book to be amazing. Not only is it a great read, well crafted and written, but it's a much-needed look into the culture that creates the problem. Latus's courage to write the truth is so valuable to women, and to any man who wants to understand.

Spousal and child abuse is still an enormous problem, and "If I am Missing or Dead" clearly exposes the cycle that keeps the problem going. Latus is an accomplished writer, and manages to tell her deeply personal story with a clarity and craft that keeps the reader spellbound, until the inevitable end. Any woman who reads it will be reminded of incidents, minor or devastatingly awful, of being belittled and disdained because of her gender. Men who read it will want to defend themselves, say "only monsters do that, not real men" and turn from the truth. Yet there are kind, caring men represented here, too. I am grateful to the author for being willing to write so honestly. It will become a tool I can use to help other women know they're not alone.

Also read Dr. Romance's article "Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence"

Supportive, Soothing, Honest and Wise

The Belated Baby: A Guide to Parenting After Infertility

Dr. Romance says: As a licensed psychotherapist, I have counseled couples struggling with infertility, miscarriages, fertility treatment, surrogacy and adoption decisions. It's a long, painful road. Couples who ache to have their own children struggle with the mystifying lack of success, the difficult processes of infertility treatment, the ups and downs of hormone treatment, and the grief and frustration of trying and failing, over and over again. When they finally do achieve their dream of parenthood, the longed-for experience is colored by their painful history. The Belated Baby is written by women who have been there, and it pulls no punches; but it manages to be encouraging and helpful at the same time. The quotes from couples and individuals who are going through the struggle, and those who have been successful, through many different means, are instructive, supportive and encouraging. This is a survivor's handbook, which will be of tremendous value to any parents on this journey.

by  Kelly James-Enger  and Jill S. Browning

 Cumberland House Publishing (2008)

ISBN-10: 1581826109
ISBN-13: 978-1581826104