DR. Romance Blog

The action in Dr. Romance's Neighborhood

New  Review of The Commuter Marriage 

"Divorce Survival: Here's how to take care of Yourself and your job"
OrlandoSentinel.com

San Luis Obispo.com Tribune Dr. Romance's "Six tips to help you learn to say no' in a relationship"   (From Divorce360)

Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Sun Herald "Five Tips to overcome marriage mistrust"  (From Divorce360)

Dr. Romance: "Three Tips to Stop You Becoming a Victim of Divorce Drama" (From Divorce360)

Dr.Romance: "Seven tips for Dating After Divorce"  Divorce360.com

Dr.Romance "Three Tips to Help You Stay Together Forever"    Divorce360.com

Dr. Romance: "Three reasons why you are not doomed to repeat your parents' marriage mistakes"

Dr. Romance quoted on Greenpixels "Game Addiction: Real Threat or Media Hype?"

Dr. Romance in the Sun Herald: "Single Parenting Tips for Raising a Successful Boy"

Dr. Romance in Sun Herald "Three tips to help you deal with your spouse's child on an affair"

Latest events in Dr. Romance's Neighborhood

Dr. Romance is quoted in the following articles:

Realjock.com:"Gay Men and the Marriage Effect"

Lemondrop.com "Women who hook up w/teachers" by Jeanne Sagar

On the blog: How to Save a Broken Relationship "The Sweetness Factor: Some Hints for Relationships"
By coachz11
“It's easy to feel embarrassed or shy about being sweet to each other, especially in our cynical, hard-edged culture,” says REDBOOK Love Network expert Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of The Commuter Marriage. ...

Men's Health: "She's Online, Digging Up Your Dirt"

Articles by Dr. Romance (Tina B. Tessina, PhD)

 "Dr. Romance's Three reasons why you are not doomed to repeat your parents' marriage mistakes"

Dr.Romance: "Five tips for Dating After Divorce"

Dr.Romance "Three Tips to Help You Stay Together Forever" 

Dr. Romance:"Three Tips to Stop You Becoming a Victim of Divorce Drama"

Book Review:Midwest Book Review: Alma Bond's review of Commuter Marriage:

Action in DR. Romance's Neighborhood

Dr. Romance has been getting around a lot lately:

September 9 at 6:00 PM Pacific time  Dr. Romance will be live on "Your Time With Kim" radio show Wednesday evening, syndicated on stations throughout the US.  Click link for stations and times.

Pro Sports Wives Radio show had Dr. Romance on live on Friday, August 28 -- listen in.

Chicagotribuneonline.com quotes Dr. Romance: "How to Succeed at Work During a Divorce"

Boston Singles Examiner: Dr. Romance quoted in "Are you on reserve?" http://bit.ly/16oUJ8

Dr. Romance quoted in Smart Money: "10 things your therapist won't tell you"

Dr. Romance featured expert in The Love Talk Movie

San Luis Obispo: Read Dr. Romance's "5 Tips for Dating Again after a Divorce"

Health Magazine quotes Dr. Romance in the September issue  "Detox Your Days" - on your
newsstand now.

Dr.Romance quoted about quickie marriages in Macleans "Against All Odds"

creditcardd.com: Dr. Romance's tips for how not to fight about money --"When your
spouse's debt collection becomes your nightmare"

Parentdish.com: Dr. Romance quoted on "When Mommy Drinks Too Much"

Lovetoknow.com interviews Dr. Romance: "How to Romance a man"

Dr. Romance quoted by "Relationtips" in Usaweekend : "Sex as an Addiction"  

Dr. Romance's Neighborhood is Buzzing!

Catch Dr. Romance live on Radio!  She'll answer listener questions live on "Your Time with Kim Iverson"

Tonight! Wednesday, July 1:

Your Time With Kim Iverson
AUSTIN - KAMX (7pm-Midnight)
BUFFALO - WTSS (7pm-Midnight)
DENVER - KALC (7pm-Midnight)
INDIANAPOLIS - WZPL (7pm-Midnight)
Kansas City - KKSN (7pm-Midnight)
MEMPHIS - WMC-FM (7pm-Midnight)
NORFOLK- WPTE (7pm-Midnight)
PORTLAND - KRSK (7pm-Midnight)
WICHITA- KFBZ (6pm-11pm)

 

Or listen online: http://www.yourtimewithkim.com/

Here's what's happening in the Neighborhood:

Dear Dr. Romance:

I wanted to thank you once again for your advise which still helps us today. We've been able to take care of the many things we couldn't agree on through compromise, respect, and love as you advised. I hope all is well with you. I remember you had said at the end of our session for us to call you if we have anymore questions.  I recently came across the Dr. Romance blog page "Getting Out of your Way," which lead me to It Ends With You:  Growing up and out of Dysfunction.  Your materials come at a time of rapid and active recovery for me, out of trauma and later post trauma, and they feel like the voice that says, "It's okay.  Not only are you okay but here's why."  And bless your heart, your writing is accessible and friendly.   A heart-felt thank you.  Your writing is helping me get through my final laps on what has been an incredibly adverse journey.

Dr. Romance Responds:

Thank you so much for writing, I'm so grateful that the counseling and the book were helpful, and I appreciate your writing to tell me so.

I just wanted to say thank you for the article you wrote Dating 101: Do Opposites Attract? May 22, 2009.  I just read it today and you have really made my day.  I'm currently in an interracial relationship with a wonderful man from Africa.  Not only are we from different races but he is Muslim and I am a Roman Catholic so it makes it a little more interesting.  Unknowingly we have been following the guidelines you have written in your article and so far we are doing great.  We have discussed his family and background and my family and traditions we share.  We have talked about getting married and I am very excited about our future together. 
 
I think your article was very uplifting and people in any kind of relationship could take the advice to let the small things go and don't pick each other apart.  Again, Thank you for your wisdom and sharing it will Yahoo and myself.
 
Dr. Romance responds:

Thanks for your kind comments on the article. I work with multi-cultural couples frequently in my private practice, and I agree that mixed relationships can work. 

Dr. Romances Articles online:

 "Dating 101: Do Opposites Attract?" is up on Yahoo!Personals

"Seven Signs Your Partner is Cheating" on So-feminine (UK)

"Dr. Romance: Bored with your Sex Life? on Divorce360.com

(see all Dr. Romance articles on Divorce360.com)

Dr. Romance has two articles in the current print issue of Going Bonkers

What's going on in the Dr. Romance Neighborhood?

Here's what's happenin' in the Dr. Romance Neighborhood:

Dr. Romance is honored to be a social media consultant for California Repertory Theater. 

Money Sex and Kids reviewed on  Feel Better Network

Podcasts: 

Dr. Romance appeared on Ms. HeartBeat on BlogTalkRadio -  "Is Marriage Really Such a Prize?"  on Wednesday, June 10 at 7:30 PM Pacific Time.

Dr. Romance discusses Cougar dating on  "The Cougar Countdown" radio show.  

It's been busy in the neighborhood

Dr. Romance has been busy, answering questions on radio and writing for publications and websites:

Tonight! 6:00 PM Pacific Time -- Dr. Romance answers listeners questions on the "Your Time with Kim" Radio show

Read Articles by Dr. Romance:

The "I Do Blues" on healthapalooza.com
San Luis Obispo Tribune "Dr. Romance: Baby Boomer Divorces"
Dr. Romance's article in the Biloxi Sun-Herald "Baby Boomer Divorces"

Dr. Romance is quoted in NicerNews.com's "Why Being Less Protective is Better for Your Kids"
Dr. Romance is listed in Mashable.com's "Nonfiction Tweets: 70+ Authors to Follow on Twitter"

A Valentine: 10 Questions for Dr. Romance

On her Ask Wendy blog,  fellow author Wendy Burt-Thomas interviews Dr. Romance.  It's a lovely present for Valentine's day.

2. How did you get started as a writer?

I came through the back door.  A colleague and I were teaching a class in 1975 called “How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free” and we wrote a manual for it, which later became a best-selling book, published in 1980.  The third edition was published in 2003, and is still in print and selling.  Since then, I’ve written 13 books, published in 16 languages by 11 different publishers.

3. What does a typical day look like for you?

Every day, I spend from 11:00 to about 12:30 doing interviews, answering e-mail and the phone.  Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I see clients, from 1:00 to 9:00 PM.  The rest of the week, I write and work on my online columns, blog and other projects.  Evenings and most of the weekend I spend with my husband.  We are both self-employed, and we like to travel a lot.  We both love our work, so instead of retiring, we are working less and traveling more.

4. Describe your desk/workspace.

Two rooms and a bathroom in my home are devoted to my businesses.  One room is a counseling office, the bathroom is between, and the second room is my writing office.  In there, I have a corner desk with a desktop computer.  My office is lined with Ikea glass-door cabinets and file drawers.  My secretary also has a small desk in there. She only works 4 hours a week.  I also have a laptop on a small rolling table that I can use in the living room to write while my husband and I watch TV.  (see more)

Momma Said: Meet the author

Dr. Romance Interview on MommaSaid.net
 MEET TINA TESSINA
AUTHOR OF MONEY, SEX AND KIDS

Q. What are the three top argument-starters when it comes to money?
Couples fight about who spent too much, how much each should pay toward expenses when they earn different amounts, and whether a luxury item is needed or not. Men tend to feel that women are spending "their" money, even if the woman earns as much or more. Women tend to feel that men are too controlling about money. Men overspend on electronic gadgets and mechanical toys, golf clubs, etc. They're also more likely to gamble on stocks or sports. Women overspend on clothes, shoes and decorative items for the home; also beauty treatments. If anyone gets involved with drugs, it's often a financial disaster.

Q. What are the three top argument-starters when it comes to sex?
Frequency tops the list. When the couple have two different needs for how often they have sex, they can clash. After that, it's hurt feelings -- when you reject your spouse for sex, it hurts, and the spouse tends not to try after a while. Third is infidelity. People get a lot more upset about cheating, but it's still rarer than the other two. Couples are more likely to fight with silence when it comes to sex -- being resentful, pouting, and turning off. Cheating, of course, can be a deal-breaker, but surprisingly enough, a lot of couples survive it.

Q. What are the three top argument-starters when it comes to children?
Most arguments about children are about discipline. Parents argue that it's too harsh or too lax. Parents accuse each other of giving in or not making the children do chores, homework, etc. Whether to have children (or another child) or not can lead to big arguments. When children hit their teens, their rebelliousness can cause problems between the parents. Also, when children are present in a marriage, it can lead to more fights about in-laws: where to spend holidays, which family's religion to raise them in, and grandparent problems.(More) (from Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage)

All over the place!

Dr. Romance has been quoted a lot, recently -- here's what's going on...

The Sweetness Factor (Redbook online)
by Jennifer Lawless
 
"Looking for a relationship pick-me-up? All you need is a spoonful of sugar. “It’s easy to feel embarrassed or shy about being sweet to each other, especially in our cynical, hard-edged culture,” says REDBOOK Love Network expert Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of The Commuter Marriage."

Is Infidelity a Gender Issue?
 OMG blog

"I see more women who cheat than men,” says Tina Tessina, a psychotherapist and the author of The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart."
 

Women Dig Alpha Males!
Red, White & Blue Blog -

"The football quarterback. The high stakes attorney. The hedge fund entrepreneur. What do they all possess? Alpha male traits that women are conditioned to desire: uberconfidence, aggressiveness, and status. But, says Tina Tessina, Ph.D., author of "The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again," "while these types of guys can be great supporters financially, they may not lend as much emotionally because they are focused on themselves and their own achievements."

Surviving Loss and Thriving Again
By Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D
Cuckleburr Times -  

"None of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional “til death do us part.” Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear friend, a child, a sibling, a parent or even a beloved pet, we are risking the loss of that love."

divorce360.com | contributing author Tina Tessina
Contributor Bio: Tina Tessina. Tina Tessina, Ph.D.,

Yahoo's Shine "Dating After Divorce:Three Tips to Starting a New Sexual Relationship after the Split  
 
Divorce360 -- Dr. Romance: "How To Avoid Loving a Jerk" - Relationships: Dating after Divorce -- Five Tips to Avoid Falling for a Jerk

Divorce 360 -- "Rebuilding Trust after an Affair" - Elizabeth Edwards Admits that Trust is an Issue after Her Husband Confessed to Affair
Rebuilding Trust after an Affair

Divorce360 Dr. Romance: Tips to Stay Married - Relationships: "Tips to to Stay Together Forever Once You Have Said, "I Do" "

Is David Duchovney a Sex Addict? - Infidelity: Actor's Porn Habit Sparks Conversation about Sex as Addiction Is David Duchovney a Sex Addict? http://www.divorce360.com:80/articles/1355/is-david-duchovney-a-sex-addict.aspx

Dr. Romance: Sex after Divorce - Dating after Divorce: Three Tips to Starting a New Sexual Relationship after the Split
Dr. Romance: Sex after Divorce
http://www.divorce360.com/articles/1309/dr-romance-sex-after-divorce.aspx

Divorce350 expert bio page "DR. Romance: Tina B. Tessina, PhD"

Yahoo!Personals "Dating Dilemma: Coupling With a Political Foe"

Dingoboots blog: "I am a Cougar"

"How to avoid loving a jerk"
SunJournal.com - Lewiston,ME,USA
"You're fresh out of a disaster are terrified of the thought of dating again, but you're going to try anyway. Good for you! ..."

Dingoboots blog: "I am a Cougar"
http://en.netlog.com:80/dingoboots/blog/blogid=2373369

Mr. Pinup - Dating 101: "Do Opposites Attract?" — "Relationship therapist helps several ‘opposite’ couples and advises daters drawn to their opposites.It seems logical that like would attract like, ..."

Dr. Romance's Neighborhood

It's been a busy month in Dr. Romance's neighborhood: 

Carrie Runnels, of Words to Mouth blog, writes:

If you want your viewers to listen to the audio interview you can add this direct link: http://download.podango.com/mediatracker/1/84099/WTM080718_-Tina_Tessina.mp3. Just FYI.

 

By the way, I really enjoyed listening to your talk on What Really Matters--excellent advice and I LOVE what you say about men and them not noticing dust bunnies or cellulite. I mentioned it on a recent TheDivaCast show (www.TheDivaCast.com)  podcast

 

On her blog "KC's Write for you" author Kerry Fivecoat Campbell featured The Commuter Marriage and even gave away a copy!

Kathy Sena is having a great, hot discussion on profanity in mommy blogs at Parent Talk Today. and Dr. Romance got involved...

Dr. Romance has a new column on Divorce360.com: 

Dr. Romance: Make your Marriage Work  - Relationships: Three Tips to Getting your Marriage Back on Track
Dr. Romance: Maintaining Sanity  - Mental Health: Three Tips to Maintaining your Sanity During your Divorce
Dr. Romance: Divorce Drama  - Mental Health: Three Tips to Help You from Becoming a Victim of the Drama of your Divorce
Dr. Romance: Divorce-Proof your Marriage  - For Adult Children of Divorce, 3 Tips for a Better Marriage than your Parents Had
Dr. Romance: Tips for a Happy Marriage   - For Children of Divorce, Three Behaviors to Cultivate for a Good Relationship
Dr. Romance: Tips to Overcome Marriage Mistrust  - Relationships: When your Partner Travels, Tips to Keep your keep your Relationship on Track
Dr. Romance: Tips for a Successful Marriage  - Relationships: Marriage takes more than belief and love: The skills you need for success