Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm fifty nine years young but my genes and hormones are still in their teens, twenties and thirties. The women that I am attracted to are in their thirties and fourties. I'm sad to say that most, if not all, the women in these age groups look at men like myself and brush us off as if we don't even exist, or that we don't have the right to desire a much younger woman. They seem to think that the only thing we are good for is to take up a space somewhere in a bone yard.
I hate to disappoint them, but God willing, I and many others like me are a long long way from that. Most, if not all, of the women other people tell me I should be trying to date are grossly obese or are, in other ways, unattractive to me, for whatever the reason. I admit that I have high standards. In the past, I have been told I need to lower those standards. I have done this on four occassions and have paid dearly for it, emotionally and in one case, emotionally and financially. The younger women who contact me on the internet through dating services are nothing more
than a bunch of players and scammers, usually in Africa and/or Russia.
There is another thing to consider here. Because of contracting Diabetes about twenty years ago, I had a terminal case of ED. This has been corrected through surgery. I need a women who can keep up with me sexually as I have a very high sex drive, especially for a man my age. A woman who is obese and in her fifties just will not cut it.
My question is this. How can I present myself to the women I'm attracted to in a way that will say to them that "I am a full grown guy with more than enough get up and go to keep up with you. Look at my age as a plus. I have been around the block enough to know how to love and appreciate a much younger woman."?
Any advise or suggestions you can pass along will be most appreciated.
I'm sorry your image of women your age is so negative, and that you're not attractive to the younger women you desire, but it's not a new problem. I suggest you stop living in a fantasy world, stop lumping people into categories, and get out into the real world and meet lots of people, make friends, create a social network. There, you have a chance of meeting a real person whom you like and who is attracted to you. If you want to meet a woman with energy, go where people are doing active things -- sports or dancing. You'll also brush up your social skills so you're not putting women off. You'll have to develop a broader interest than just having sex to be interesting to women of any age. "Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude" , "Age Differences in Dating" and "Where is Love" will give you more information on changing your attitude.
It Ends with You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction will help you see yourself and your relationships more clearly.
For low-cost counseling, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org