Dear Dr. Romance:
Last week my husband and I had an argument over something so small like not getting up to give our kid his medicine. Just because I didn't get up he started calling me names and he pushed me from the bed. Currently, we decided we needed time apart so we came on an agreement that I would leave to my mothers house for some weeks. We have had constant fights over little things and also things like our attitudes and our high pride. We were already thinking of heading towards divorce after 2 years, but we came to an agreement that maybe there is hope for us and marriage therapy can help us save our marriage and keep our family together. We have 2 kids 6 mos. and 1 1/2 . We love each other but we need help. We really want to save our marriage for us and our kids.
Thanks for writing. I'm glad you and your husband have decided to try and grow up, and work it out. Divorce won't really separate you, you'd still be tied together by the kids. It would be a tragedy for your children if you kept on fighting like second graders, and worse if you divorced. A good therapist or counselor can help you fix the problems. "Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely" will help you find someone suitable. In the meantime, both of you can follow the steps in "Asking for What You Want" and "How Not to Fight" to minimize your fighting. How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together will show you how to work with each other to solve problems instead of fighting.