Dear Dr. Romance:
Don't know if you can help me or if i need to go to specialist alcohol sites. My partner and i had been together for 21 years, i asked him to leave 8 months ago, but i miss him dreadfully at times and i have to remind myself why i asked him to go. His mother was an alcoholic and a toxic bitch, still is , anyway
he has gone off to stay with his mom and dad, he's forty six years old , he did date someone briefly but i think it's over. Anyway is there anyway i can do to sort this out, i do love him but can't stand what
his drinking was doing to me and our family.i seem to be the one having problems moving on.
It's difficult for most of my clients to deal with an alcoholic partner. You're right to make a break, and you must stay away until he recognizes and gets help for his drinking problem.
You'll find help for yourself at Al-Anon. It's the AA support group for spouses and families of alcoholics. If your children are old enough, they can go to Ala-Teen. You'll all learn a lot there and you'll find others who understand what you've been through.You'll be very glad you went. Al-anon will teach you how to deal with your ex-partner.
'Read "Letting Go Takes Love" to help you remain strong and "Mirrors and Teachers" to help with the difficult mother-in-law. They are free on my website. It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction will help you understand your family dynamics.
The Real 13th Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Independence Beyond the 12-Step Programs will show you what is involved in addiction and what is necessary to heal from it.
For low-cost counseling, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org