Dear Dr. Romance:
I find your articles very interesting. I have a minor problem with my husband. he keeps telling me that I don't listen and that I am stubborn. I admit my mind goes blank sometimes because he expects a lot from me and treats me like a teenager. I keep telling him not to push me.
I have a full time job as an administrative assistant at a university, and we have our business where we have a person working but I am in the shop on Saturday, and I normally do the banking and the home chores. We have no kids and have been married ten years. I do listen but I am only human and I make mistakes. He always wants to be around his brother and wife. She often accuses my husband of harrassing her. When his brother and sister-in-law are not around everything is good with us, he pays attention to me instead of them.
It sounds like you and your husband need to agree on times to talk with each other about important things. He sounds needy, and your sister-in-law's comment that he harasses her is further evidence of that. You sound very busy, so it would be helpful if you talked to him about setting up times when you two can talk, and in return he would understand when you're busy and can't talk. Couples Can Cooperate for Success" will help you establish a new way of solving problems and "Asking for What You Want" will help you be heard. Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage will show you how to communicate without fighting.