This week, I was asked the following question by a journalist, and thought I'd invited Charles J. Orlando, author of The Problem with Women is...Men to dialogue about it.
Journalist: Does it make a man less masculine if he’s too in touch with his feminine side, and if it does, what does it say about him and his personality? Does too nice make him border line gay, or clueless about what women really want? I’d like to know your opinion on this subject.
Dr. Romance I think a man who is kind and caring is a strong man. Is that his feminine side? Why? Why don't men have a kind and caring masculine side? The only thing that I'd call "too nice" is if he lets himself get walked on by people, and we call that co-dependency, not feminine.
If women really want obnoxious jerks, then women are wrong. Women with self-esteem want men with character, kindness and honesty. Healthy women want men who can commit, who can be equal partners in life. It seems to me that kind men are ideal for that. Let's get rid of the stupid posturing some men do. It's nothing but fear and self-loathing disguised as bravado.
Charles J. Orlando: "Less masculine"? The question seems to quietly imply that men have one side, whereas the truth is much simpler: That men and women both exhibit masculine and feminine traits. Men who connect with women on "sisterly grounds" are merely channeling their feminine side, not sacrificing their masculinity. "Clueless"? On the contrary, if men would really listen more (and not just hear), I think relationships might be in a completely different place today.
In The Problem With Women is.... Men, I said “If men could break out of their caveman mentality and see the perception women have of them—it would be blindingly obvious to them why divorce rates are up, why kids’ grades are down, and why the women they claim to love are taking enough anti-depressants to put even Keith Richards into a drunken stupor.”
My embracing my feminine side doesn't equate to "gay" or homosexuality. Forgive me if I'm snarky (is "snarky" a "woman's term"??), but I was under the impression that gay or homosexual meant that someone is attracted romantically to someone of the same gender. I fail to see how listening and connecting with women emasculates a man.
Other goings-on in Dr. Romance's neighborhood:
Dr. Romance on : "Who's your (New) Daddy?" Stepparenting at sheknows.com
Dr. Romance on "The Vampire Attraction" Sheknows.com
American Way Magazine:"Distance Makes the Heart Grow..." by Jenna Schnuer
St.Louis Obispo Tribune: "Lessons to be Learned from High Profile Affairs"
