DR. Romance Blog

How to be a therapist

Hi. I am considering being a licensed psychotherapist. What was your education track if I may ask?

Regards,

Aaron

DR. Romance Replies:

Of course you may ask. I was licensed in 1978, so things were quite different then. I took an independent study curriculum at Lindenwood  Colleges, St. Charles MO, and I used the California BBSE guidelines to set  up my courses. That way, I knew my Masters Degree would be acceptable to  them. I suggest you contact the BBSE and get the current guidelines. You  can also get help from the American Psychology Assn. and any good school  that trains psychologists will know what the guidelines are.

I looked them up, and here are the current guidelines:

In addition to holding a qualifying degree, an applicant for licensure must complete specific pre-licensure required courses prior to submitting an application for MFT examination eligibility.
These courses include:
• Child Abuse Assessment and Reporting (7 hrs)
• Human Sexuality (10 hrs)
• Alcoholism and Chemical Substance Abuse Dependency (15 hr/1 semester unit; must be within the qualifying degree program)
• Spousal/Partner Abuse (must be within degree program; must be 15 hours for those after 1/1/2004)
• Psychological Testing (2 semester or 3 quarter units)
• Psychopharmacology (2 semester or 3 quarter units)
• California Law and Professional Ethics (2 semester or 3 quarter units)
• Aging and Long Term Care (10 hrs for those after 1/1/04)
Note: The dates above refer to when a person begins his or her degree program.
Statutes and Regulations cited: B&P Code 4980.39, 4980.41; Title 16, CCR Section 1807,1807.2,1810

Then, of course, you have to get supervised hours. In my day, it was 3,000  unpaid hours, but these days you can be paid.

Good luck with your career.

I am not as sexually attracted to him as I'd like to be

Hello Ms. Tessina,

I was hoping for a little advice on my relationship now that is truly wonderful and appears to be the best relationship of my life. Things are souring from my end, which I could not understand why, until this morning when it dawned on me. I have never been as happy as I am now in a relationship, but there is a major road block that has appeared (actually, I denied it ever really being there), and now I would like to know if it's truly fixable or if I am going to run into a dead-end wall eventually because of the resentment that it is capable of producing. What is this undeniable truth...? I am not sexually as attracted to him as I'd like to be. His attraction to me is incredible and helps keep our sex life nice, but I'm slowly seeing that from the very first day, his technique, coupled with his chronic un-fresh breath, slight hygiene issues below (he's not circumcised), and larger than I'm used to "member", have me completely uninterested in sex. Now, I have raised the hygiene issue, so we're good there, and his breath is caused by his acid reflux, so we're monitoring that, and I keep extra lubrication handy for the "size" issue, but the overall technique is something I cannot figure out how to fix without hurting him. It's bad enough that I show disinterest and have raised the hygiene issues, but I still cannot seem to find a route to changing my mind about the chemistry. (I'm just not getting aroused!) He's entirely my "type", tall and handsome and we get along like two peas in a pod, but why am I not feeling it in the bedroom? I'm attracted to him, but just don't want sex. My answer for this, thus far, was that I had been extremely sick a few weeks ago with a strange virus, and that I'd lost my libido suddenly. But this initial diagnosis has lost its validity. (I even tested my testosterone level to see if it is actually physical!) I know now what the problem is, and I really need help in figuring things out. I have never in my entire sexual life had this issue. I'm 30, and up until now, my libido has done nothing but GROW with time. ;-)

This is a "fresh" relationship of 2 months, he's 25 and I'm 30, we have great communication between us, he's open-minded, as I am, and we both have normal lives with the normal pressures that go with it, so no other explanations really remain as to why this is happening with me. I might be slightly depressed and stressed, but I have been all year and have never had issues with sex. I just don't want to regret losing a relationship that may have a chance to turn into something truly amazing, but I also do not want to build hope where there's no real room for it to thrive in.  I hope to hear from you soon. Yours truly,

baffled

Dr. Romance replies:

You don't say if you ever had a strong sexual response to this man. If you once did, then the things you mention have turned you off, but you can get it back again. It's always disappointing when the "new romance" wears off, and it always does sooner or later. But, long-term relationship sex is a skill that must be learned if the relationship is to survive. It just doesn't happen as naturally as the new relationship sex. 

It sounds like you're doing the right things, taking care of hygiene and bad breath. If you've been able to get past those two toughies without upsetting him too much, then you're handling it well. As to problems with technique, it's a teaching situation. You need to practice saying "Would you touch me here?" "I'd love it if you did this to me" etc. It sounds like he loves you enough that he'd be open to you telling him what you like, as long as you don't criticize what he's already doing. Think about what works for you, and then ask him for it. Look for alternative ways of doing whatever he's doing that you don't like. Present it as a new adventure, a new idea, instead of leading with your frustration. Then focus on how loving it is for him to do what you want, even if he didn't know instinctively. Sex is not the biggest part of a relationship, unless it doesn't work. Then it becomes the only thing. If you can focus on what you do enjoy in bed with him, and keep teaching him to do what works for you, you'll get to a place where you do respond to him. It's going to take some patience on your part, but it sounds like he's worth it.

My newest book, Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage   has a lot of information and guidelines about talking about sex.  You might also try the following articles: "Asking for What You Want"  and "Relating With Love".

good luck,

tina

Sex and the City Lesson

Dear Readers: I've invited Daylle Deanna Schwartz, a friend and fellow member of the American Society of Jounalists and Authors, to guest post on Dr. Romance today. I think you'll agree she has a lot to say about self-worth:Sex and the City Lesson Like many people, I watched Sex and the City and related to the Carrie Bradshaw character. She waffled between self-empowered and struggles with men. Her obsession with Big showed her vulnerability. That’s why I was so delighted with her last statement on the final episode: “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you YOU love, well, that’s just fabulous.” It really is fabulous. So many people get into relationships looking to receive love from someone else when they don’t give it to themselves. I used to be like that when I thought I needed a man to complete me. Looking outside of myself for love got me used. And hurt. Yet I continued try to please every boyfriend I had in hopes of being loved, until I finally learned I needed to be loving to me first! A majority of people don’t have a good relationship with themselves. We have relationships with money, romantic partners, friends, even stuff we buy. These days, some people have better relationships with their tech toys—computers, Blackberrys, iPhones, etc.—than they have with people, no less themselves. Just today a woman said she stopped dating a guy who practically lived on line. Even his sex life was “satisfied” on porn sites. We’re becoming a society of intimacy disconnect. YOU often come in last when relationships come to mind. Yet a relationship with yourself is most important. It sets a good foundation for all other relationships. I used to be who others wanted me to be. I bought into the hype of chasing what’s touted as a must have or must be. Nobody told me that I was important. It was all about everyone else. Then I discovered the blessing of loving myself. The rest of my lovely life fell into place after that! What does self-loving mean? Showing yourself kindness. Making an effort to do things that are comforting or enjoyable. Taking good care of your health is loving. So is treating yourself to a splurge. The more you treat yourself in ways that make you feel good, the more loving you feel toward YOU. This isn’t about self-absorption. It’s about a conscientious effort to take care of you. That’s self-love and it brings all sorts of goodies! How many times do you go to a mirror and say, “I love you?” Are you spoutin’ zeroes? I do it easily now. Falling in love with YOU means going beyond how you look, your age and how much money you make to appreciate the person YOU ARE and the values YOU’VE chosen. Become conscious of how loving—or not—you are to YOU. Work on that instead of trying to please others. When you define the person you truly want to be, not based on what others expect, you can work on developing a real sense of self. That’s what Carrie finally learned. Each year she became more true to herself and her needs. That led to her becoming a healthier woman, which Big could no longer resist. Loving myself gave me the gift of choice. I no longer feel desperate or needy since I’m happy with who I am, with or without a man. Someone who feels good in his or her own skin is very attractive to others! I’ll repeat this quote: “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you YOU love, well, that’s just fabulous.” When you—male or female—have a loving relationship with yourself, and value who you are as a unique individual who’s worthy of love and happiness, it’s harder to settle for a romantic partner who isn’t right for you. That really is just fabulous because it helps you wait to meet someone who does love you for the right reasons—for who you are, not what you can give or become. -------------------

Daylle Deanna Schwartz, M.S. is a speaker, music industry consultant, self-empowerment counselor and author of 9 books, including her popular self-empowerment books, All Men Are Jerks until Proven Otherwise, How to Please a Woman In & Out of Bed and Straight Talk with Gay Guys. She is regularly quoted in publications including the NY Times and has appeared on over 300 TV and radio shows. She speaks for colleges, organizations, and corporations and is on the Panel of Experts for Lifetimetv.com. She is currently writing Nice Girls on Top. Her favorite “work” these days is her blog, Lessons from a Recovering DoorMat.

This girl really has me

My situation is different that some. See I have only been in 2 relationships, but they were really long term. My first I was 16 till I was 21. Second from 22 till now, which is 26 years old. Both of those relationships were an on off kind of relationship. So inbetween the ons and off, let's say I was a bit promiscuous. I never had a problem getting a girl, but I never really liked a girl, I thought they were cute, and just wanted to have sex. So that's a basic sum of my past, thought it might help.

The situation now is, my friend joe always trys to hook me up with his friends, and they always end up being crazy or not even half as pretty as he says. He tried to match me up with his friend Jen, when I met her, I was blown away. Beautiful, smart, outgoing, fun..just amazing. I started talking to her, and got her phone number and ended up taking her out to dinner. Before I took her out to dinner we had a few accidental meetings at a bar, or club and just had a blast! Well our dinner went really well, and after dinner we went and met with some friends for drinks. Had a really good time. Her friend who we met up with was severely drunk and couldn't drive, so we ended up taking her home. Jen suggested we go in this girls apartment and hang out. So we did, had a couple drinks, hung out, and had fun. We both ended up passing out together, but nothing happened. So that's the history with the girl. Well a couple days later I'm out, and decide to go to this after hours club.

Soon as I walk in, Jen's there and runs up to me says hi, and says "is it weird that I knew you would be here tonight?" I thought that was a good sign personally.

Now I know I sound kind of weird being as I've only had one real date with this girl. But this girl really has me. I just can't decide if she's as in to me as I am her, and don't know what action to take. I don't want to sound like weirdo to her and tell her how I feel, cause it is really soon. She gives me mixed signals, cause I am usually the one initiating a text or a phone call. I don't know how often I should call, or text. I have never been in a predicament like this. Any help would be great.

Thanks so much.

Michael

Dr. Romance answers:

This is a good sign. You need to focus on developing a connection with this girl. Don't make any big declarations, just spend some time with her until you get to see how things are. Try to calm down about sex a bit -- you'll find it's important, but not the most important thing about a relationship. Communicate how you feel to this girl by spending time with her -- not so much with words right now. You have a lot to learn about relationship, and she probably does, too. Relax and enjoy your time together, and don't worry so much about where it's going.  If you just let it happen, you'll find out what kind of relationship it is going to be.  Try my book "The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again" for more information, and good luck with it.

-

When Counseling can help

Dear tina,
I have a family member with two failed marriages, after she asked for my advice I suggested a spousal abuse counselor for therapy. She didn't receive counseling and went on to a second failed marriage. This time even worse than the first. She doesn't understand the reasoning for counseling. She is under the advice of a friend who said you just pick up the pieces and move on. With the second marriage not only beatings but terrible financial problems and two children to boot. We talked again about seeing a counselor this time she found a friend who's mother counseled children on proper manners in school. I was kinder hoping you could shed some light on what the need for counseling is all about and why it's necessary. thanking you
Jim

Dr. Romance responds:

I'd be happy to shed light. Counselors do several things. They help clients heal emotional wounds left over from the past, and help them reconfigure patterns that may result from those same past experiences, which lead them to repeat the same errors. In addition, counselors are life coaches, who help people think through their decisions and help them make better choices in their daily lives. Counselors also help guide people through grief and loss, and overcome guilt and hurt feelings.

It might help your friend to read some of my articles: "Guidelines for finding and using therapy wisely"; "Family Violence Q & A"  and "How to keep yourself out of a violent relationship"

As a worried friend or relative, you might find "Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence" helpful.

Nip temper in the bud

Dear Tina,

I am writing to you for your professional opinion regarding my 15 year old son. His behavior overall is good but when he gets angry he throws things swears a lot and just a few minutes ago destroyed my vacuum cleaner in one blow to the floor. I am a single parent about 9 months out of the year and my son is for the most part a big help to me. I have one daughter also who is 13.

How can I help him see what he is doing and control his urge to break or throw something when he is upset. He  does not do this every time, but it is very upsetting to me and his younger sister when it happens. 

I am afraid to tell his father because he is so loud and I  don't know for certain that he could contain himself once he started to discipline our son.

We live in a small town and our son is an athlete at one of the two high schools. I do not want to hurt his future with everyone knowing this problem, but at the same time I want to help him.

I feel alone in this problem as my parents are in the same town but are 80 years old. I don't want them to know the every little thing that goes wrong. My father has been a very big part of my sons life and filled in the fatherly gaps while my husband is away.

What can I do? Am I standing in the way? I have always been a good mom. I have disciplined with compassion, always been there to listen or lend a hand with homework, taken him to practice and games and most importantly made him feel loved. Please Help..Thank you..

Dr. Romance responds:

It's so difficult to be both mother and father to your son, I know. I'm guessing, from what you said about his father being loud, that your son thinks it's "manly" to throw temper tantrums, which actually is childish, not manly. It's really important to nip this in the bud, before he learns from interacting with you that it's OK to be violent and angry with women. Although your son seems to be grown- up in other ways, emotionally he has some maturing to do. It's really imperative to get the help of someone, his coach, perhaps, or a teacher, a pastor, a school counselor or other role model who can teach him how to control his temper. If he doesn't learn to do that, he'll have trouble all thorough his life because of it.

You have to tell some people who can help, even if it is embarrassing. A school counselor, pastor or therapist will keep it confidential.  You have been a loving parent, but maybe not a strong enough one.  You and your son need an objective, knowledgeable party who has the authority to convince your son he needs to change -- not just for you, but for his own good. You can read some of the articles on my website, like "Mirrors and Teachers"  and "Year of Peace" which might give you some tools to use.

But please don't try to do this all by yourself. If your son won't go for counseling, go by yourself to get an understanding about how to set limits and get him to want to control his temper.

Disaster in the Making

Hello Madam....

I have a friend who's asking for an advice and accidentally, I saw in the Internet your advices to

some heart problems..So I told myself to try ask help from you also. This lady friend of mine (her

name is Jane) is well,kind of in love with a man who's also in love with her. However,a friend of us

also is I think falling in love with the same man.So, Jane does not know what to do.Is it just right

for her to tell to the man she is in love with him even if doing so will hurt our other

friend?Because the advice that I had given to Jane is to better tell what she feels.

And also, Jane does not know if the man still loves her because just after New Year,he acts

somewhat different..It's as if something turned out bad..

I hope you can give some advice Madam..Thanks a lot and a Happy New Year to you...

Dr. Romance Responds:

What are the facts? If this guy is dating both women, then he's just having a good time, and not

thinking about commitment. If he's not dating either, then this is all just fantasy. Both ladies

should stick with reality, and not get too far into their hopes about this guy. The big question is,

has he asked either or both of them out on a date? If he has dated your friend, then she should

not tell him what she feels (pretty disastrous with a guy) but ask him what he wants to do about

their friendship. If he hasn't dated her, she should take the lead and ask him out to coffee or

lunch, to let him know she's interested. Whatever she does, she shouldn't make a dramatic

declaration of feelings unless he does. That just spooks a man, and sends him away. Tell your friend to

read my article, "Stop Reacting and Start Relating"  It will help her see relationships differently.  For more

everything you need to know about successful dating, try The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again 

Mediterranean Trip -- Cadiz & Funchal

12/11/07 Tuesday Cadiz

Buenas dias! We're in Spain again, at the beautiful old city of Cadiz. We've been here before, and it's one of my favorite places. The streets are so narrow no cars are allowed in the inner city, so it's a lovely place to walk, sit and have a capuccino, and enjoy the gorgeous Christmas decorations. When we were here last, in springtime, there were 6 foot towers of petunias, in every gorgeous color, all over the old city -- now there are towers of pointsettias, lovely. It's wonderful, to walk through the narrow lanes of the streets here and look up to see the balconies overhead almost touching each other across the street. Cadiz has several beautiful churches & a cathedral, as well as many miles of beautiful beaches, but this trip we decide to explore part of the old wall that surrounds the city. The day is beautiful, and so is Cadiz.

12/12/07 Wednesday, sea day.

This is a much -- needed sea day of rest. Tonight is a formal party, and I get to swim, catch up on my e-mail, and take a long nap before getting all dressed up to go dancing. There is also a production show tonight "Words & Music" which I saw on the last segment, but Richard didn't, so we both see it after dinner. All the shows are amazing -- so well conceived, choreographed, costumed and sung. Delightful.

12/13/07 Thursday: Funchal, Madiera, Portugal

Bom Dia! After our restful day at sea, we dock this morning at Funchal, which rises out of the sea; its volcanically created slopes lush and green, and covered with terraced houses; its rocky peaks and cliffs dark and dramatic. the vista that greets us from the ship is classic Mediterranean -- not too much different from that which greeted Christopher Columbus when he came here to study the famous Portuguese sea craft and take a wife. Only after she died did he begin his explorations. The island was officially discovered in 1419, when Joao Goncalves Zarco found it in the usual fashion -- by getting lost. Funchal is named after one of my favorite veggies -- fennel, or sweet anise (fenocchio in Italian) which is called funcha in Portuguese, and grows wild here. It's such a fertile island! With a climate as warm as California, but wetter, the whole island is a tropical greenhouse. We took a double-decker bus tour, and saw banana plants, birds of paradise, bouganvilla and every sort of tropical plant. Grapes are important here, of course, because Madiera is known for its sherry-like wine. It also has a thriving sugar industry. From our bird's-eye, top deck bus seats, we see the lovely streets, remains of the old city wall and forts, cathedrals, and the many sculptures that grace the city. this is the home of the sculptor whose giant statue of Christ is on Sugar Loaf mountain in Brazil.

The last time we were here, we took a taxi to Our Lady of the Mountain Church, a lovely little convent & church (founded in 1492) on a high peak, from which the friends traveling with us taht time, Lyn and Geoff Dye, took a sledge ride. In a large basket-like contraption, they sat and slid down a cobblestone street to the bottom of the mountain.

This time, Linda & Mark tell us at dinner about their wild ride. The day dawned lovely, but by sailing time, ominous clouds are gathering on the mountaintop, and we wave goodbye to our last port of the trip, and begin sailing across the Atlantic Ocean.

12/14 -20/07 Crossing the Atlantic from Portugal to Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Now we have day after day at sea, to relax, enjoy the ship, the pool, the fine dining, dancing and entertainment. We love these Atlantic crossings, and we have great weather all the way. A perfect cruise -- and the flight from Ft. Lauderdale to LAX is much easier than the one to Rome.

Mediterranean Trip -- Gibralter

12/10/07 Monday - Gibralter

Cheerio! In our European travels, we've sailed by the great Rock of Gibralter   many times, but this is our first chance to step foot on its soil.

We happen to meet up with Georgia and Don at breakfast, so along with Linda and Mark, we make a party of six, perfect for a minivan tour. We wander out and engage Daniel (accent on the last syllable) a very personable guide, who speaks great English. Gibralter has been a British colony since 1704. it's one of the two "Pillars of Hercules" at the Western entrance of the Mediterranean. It's name comes from the first occupation, by the Moors, in 711 AD, led by Tariq ibn Zeyad -- "Gebel-Tarik" means Tariq's Rock. The remains of his castle can still be seen. The Spanish recovered control in 1462, and lost it to the British in 1704.

Daniel takes us on a tour of the major sites, beginning with a drive up to the ape's den, where we get up close and personal to the small Barbary Apes. We are warned not to carry food or feed the apes, who are unafraid of humans, but not tame. There are adorable babies a few months old, which climb all over the van, pose for photos, ride on their mothers' backs, and generally entertain and charm us.

We continue up to the St. Michael's cave, which is surprising -- walking through a tunnel into a series of enormous caverns, with huge stalactites coming down to fuse with equally large stalagmites reaching up from the ground. There is dim lighting, but when we take pictures, the formations light up in lovely colors.

Many steps take us down to the largest cave, which contains a stage and stadium seats -- concerts are held here -- I sing a few notes to test the echo, which is wonderful. What a magical place this would be to give a recital!

Back out in the sunlight, and greenery on the rock, we get back in the van and continue our climb up the rock, past the remna nts of the imposing Moorish castle to the top, where we walk into the tunnels. Miles of tunnels were carved during the Great Siege (1779-83) when the Spanish tried unusccessfully to reacquire Gibralter. The tunnels are oddly reminiscent of "Pirates of the Caribbean" at Disneyland, becaue there are tableaux of workers digging the tunnels, soldiers on guard, cannons, and one small side tunnel leading to a door with a grate. As we approach this door, a soldier manniken inside is looking out, and we are startled when our movement triggers "Halt! Who goes there?"

At one point, the roadside narrows and we can see the Mediterranean on one side and the Atlantic on the other. We also look down at the narrow strip of land that connects Granada to Spain. Thi sis the flattest land in Granada, and contains the airport. To travel the only road between Granada and Spain, you must cross the runway, and whenever a plane lands or takes off, the road is blocked by barriers like those at train tracks at home.

After a great tour, (I liked the monkeys best) Daniel drops most of us off at Main Street, where we can shop for souvenirs. It's a charming town. Granada has about 30,000 inhabitants in a very small area -- less than 3 square miles. It is dense with tall apartment buildings especially in the newest area, reclaimed from the sea. A wonderful day, lovely weather and an exciting tour. We're so glad to have stopped here.

Mediterranean Trip - Genoa, Italy to Barcelona, Spain

12/6/07 Thursday Genoa

Genoa is lovely from the ship, and familiar. This is the birthplace of Cristoforo Colo'n (Christopher Columbus.) However, we've been here before, and the day is chilly, so we decide just to take some photos from the deck, and use the day to relax. I spend some time writing this up, then go for a swim. Richard is getting better, but still needs rest.  I love having the pool to myself, and we both take a long nap.  At dinner, Mark & Linda tell us about their day tromping all over the lovely city of Genoa.

12/7/07 Friday Cannes
Bon Jour!  Richard is beginning to feel much better, but the day is cold & dreary, and Cannes, famed beach town that it is, doesn't look inviting, so again we stay onboard.  Ominous signs show up on Lido deck, where all the staff are wearing gloves, and we're no longer allowed to serve ourselves at the buffet.

We recognize this as the "sick ship" protocol, and in the late morning, the captain announces that the Novo virus has been brought onboard by arriving passengers.  This is not like the simple cold Richard & I have, but a serious intestinal bug.  so, even though the ship has had hand sanitizer dispensers everywhere, he strongly urges us to use them frequently.  He says, any passenger who develops diarrhea or vomiting should call 911 on the ship phone, and there will be no charge for medical services.  He doesn't mention, however, that anyone who is suspected of having the virus will be confined to cabin. 

Things go on more or less normally, if a bit subdued.  Tonight Richard actually feels well enough to go dancing, so we dance before dinner.  Our outstanding waiter, Laura, is working doubly hard because all her tables are full, and we aren't allowed even to pass a bread basket --- everything must be served.  After dinner, the seas begin to get rough -- the captain warns us about high winds --- and we go to the casino to play the penny slots. I actually win $10.00 on a $2.50 investment.  Yay!

12/8/07 Saturday Barcelona
Buenas Dias! After a very rough night, when the ship leaped and lurched, ringing like a gong when the waves slam into the hull, and waking us up.  We've been on many small ships that were tossed about, but this is the first time a huge ship like this has bounced this much.  By about 5:30 AM, the winds subside.  The captain later tells us the winds were 80 Knots, over 100 miles an hour.  Apparently winds from the north met the famous Spanish Mistral, and cooked up a perfect storm.

When we wake up a little late after the rough night, the day is crisp and sunny, about 57degrees, and we both feel fine, so we meet Mark and Linda at a late breakfast and decide to take the shuttle into Barcelona, to Columbus (Colo'n) circle, with its tall statue of the great explorer.

Once off the shuttle, we find a true flea market -- used goods -- and soon lose Mark & Linda in the crowd.  Richard and I decide to take the "Barcelona Bus Turi'stic" -- the hop on, hop off bus.  These busses are in most European cities, (we took one in Rome, I missed one in Firenze)  For 19E each, we get a two hour ride on the top of a double-decker bus, with a great narration of the sites on head phones, our choice from seven languages.  The English narrator has a fine British accent. 

We tour beautiful Barcelona, past Port Vell (old port) The Olympic Park, into the historic Barri Go'tic (Gothic quarter) with its massive old stone buildings,

and the stunning La Ribera (Medieval quarter) with ornate carving and statues.  We love the glassed-in balconies. 

The Placa d'Espanya (Spanish Plaza) has a magnificent memorial fountain by Josep Maria Jujul, and the Placa de Catalunya, where Las Ramblas, the famous miles-long promenade through Barcelona, begins. From our great vantage point atop the double-decker bus, we get unobstructed views of dramatic sculpted buildings by Antoni Gaudi, including the Casa Batllo', and "La pediera" (the stone quarry)

This is such a breathtaking city -- the tour ends with a sweep of Mont Juic (Jewish Mountain), giving us a bird's-eye view of the city and port, where no fewer than six huge cruise ships are in the harbor, including our Star Princess.

On the top, we pause at the majestic Palau Nacional (National Palace) 

which tops Mont Juic's peak and lush gardens, then descend past the cable car terminal and the Joan Miro museum, a white marble memorial, back to the World Trade Center.  Once off the bus, we catch the shuttle back to the ship.  Onboard again, we learn from the passengers that the city was very crowded, due to the  holy day if Immaculate Conception and all the ships. The captain announces that the number of new cases of the virus is declining, but we'll keep to the CDC sanitation measures we've been using.  He also says the wind is gone, and he expects a calm sea tonight.  This is our first formal night, so we dress and go to the Captain's Cocktail party, dinner  and the big production show, looking forward to a calm sail to our next port.