DR. Romance Blog

Mother Nature Rages

As I wrote here, I visited my childhood home of Roscoe, NY in the Catskill mountains on June 2 & 3rd, and I took some idyllic pictures.  This week I heard from my former classmate, Patty Hendrix, that there was a flood in Roscoe area.  So, I went online to find out about it.  It happened June 20, and at least two people were killed -- several homes wiped out.

There are newspaper articles here:

http://wcbstv.com/local/local_story_172060037.html

http://www.topix.net/content/ap/2007/06/second-body-found-in-n-y-flood-search-2

Monetary donations can be sent to M&T Bank, 56 Stewart Ave., Roscoe, NY 12776. Flood relief fund donation information here

http://www.recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070627/NEWS/70626012/-1/NEWS

This is a photo gallery of the destruction and the rescue operation, including the flooded river, smashed houses, cars in trees, and the rescue workers with heavy equipment.

http://joeynick.smugmug.com/gallery/3041274#P-3-9

Here's a somewhat blurry UTube video, and you can hear the power of the water:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCctjr0gOPo&mode=related&search=

I remember some bad floods from childhood, but this seems to be much worse.  Roscoe also had a bad flood in June, 2006, called a "Once in 300 years" event.  I guess not.  Events like this really underscore the global warming problem.

Dr. Romance understands that life is unpredictable, and it hurts to be reminded of that.  If you've had a loss or disaster, "Into Every Life"  and "Surviving Loss and Thriving Again" might be helpful.

I hope you are all safe and well.

You are getting sleeeeeeeepy

Hopefully, computer problems are in the past, since we figured out it was an overheating problem. 

In addition to my formal education and licensing and my own psychotherapy journey of healing,  I've been on a journey of self-exploration most of my life -- plunging into all sorts of new experiences, theories and techniques whenever something looked interesting.  I guess I'm a self-awareness junkie; because I know it's my path to a better life, better relationships and more joy.  Spiritual growth, Tarot and Kabbalah,  past-life regression, astrology, numerology, depth psychology -- you name it, I've probably done it.  Including, in my "weekend hippie" days in the late 60's, sexual experimentation and ritual peyote trips.  Every bit of it, including the painful parts, has been rich with discovery and adventure. 

After a hiatus of many years, to understand and deal with the weight I've gained since menopause, I've gone back recently for hypnosis with Sheri O. Zampelli, whom I find to be powerful and helpful as a guide for this inner journey.  If you're struggling with weight and body issues, I highly recommend her.

I've had many "aha!" moments during our six sessions, and gained many insights I'll be sharing with you from time to time.  Today's session led to a realization that, while I've often given thanks for food, I haven't been giving thanks to the food itself, for being such a miracle and a resource.  Just think about it.  All that glorious, aromatic, colorful and amazing abundance is there for us to enjoy.  It's our source of sustenance, pleasure, health and even a catalyst for friendship and socializing.  As a vegetarian, the food I eat is so clearly light transformed -- it wouldn't exist (and therefore neither would I) without the light.  Soil, water, light and a miraculous tiny seed come together in an alchemical way to create beauty and nourishment.  Amazing.  I don't think I'll ever eat another meal without being conscious of the miracle it represents.

Dr. Romance believes that there is room and need in our lives both for the science of things and awareness of the astounding miracles that have to happen for life to sustain us.  Yes, we can be curious about the mechanics, DNA and other scientific understanding of nature, but our minds, hearts and souls also thrill to the mysterious and miraculous processes in even the simplest natural things.

What is your latest self-discovery?

techno-heck

Oh, my -- Have I ever been in techo-heck!  Hopefully, thanks to this brand-new (not advertised yet) "premium tech support" program, by Verizon, from which I get my DSL, the problem may now be fixed, but I've said that before, haven't I? 

What a love-hate relationship I have with my computers (yes, it's not a techno-monogamous relationship.) I've been working on computers, really, since 1968 -- which was a corporate job with a whole room full of IBM big, blue boxes, using punchcards.  And that huge system had only a fraction of the memory on the 2 1/2 -pound mini laptop Toshiba portege I use for travel.  Then, I began writing books:  first, with my co-author Riley K. Smith, on an actual (gasp!) typewriter, cutting and pasting with scissors and scotch tape.  That first book took 5 years from start to publication.  As you know from this blog, I just finished writing two whole books in six months with the help of my computer.  I've used a CP/M system, DOS (with Wordstar) and then the whole series of Microsoft operating systems from the beginning.  So, I do understand how helpful computers can be.  But, also so infuriating!  Isn't that just like a long-term, very committed relationship? 

Richard was so supportive during my period of despair with the constant refusal of my computer to allow me onto the Internet (turned out to be a spyware problem, we think)  and the complete breakdown of the larger laptop, which still needs to be totally wiped out and reprogrammed, it seems. He listened to my complaints, soothed me, and comforted me.  What a blessing he is! On the other hand, there are days when he just drives me to distraction.  As Mrs. Ruth Bell Graham once said, when asked if she ever thought of divorcing her often difficult husband, Billy, "Divorce? No.  Murder? Yes."

Dr. Romance knows that getting along with those we depend on is not easy and it's not a smooth, obstacle-free course.  Even when that which we depend on is a computer.  Eric, the online tech who helped today, said (as we waited a long time for scanning processes) he often thought that working with computers was a lot like working with people.  I replied, "But computers aren't as obstinate."  "No," He said, "they can be just as difficult as humans."  Amen, Eric.  If you've had your own kind of obstacles, you might enjoy reading "Into Every Life." and "It's a Dirty Job"

I'm counting my blessings that I'm able to connect with all of you today; the Internet does that so well.  But, not without its problems.  What are your frustrations and blessings?

On the Air

Dr. Romance (Tina B. Tessina) will appear on Dr. Vidushi Babber’s show, “Winning With Wellness” on the VoiceAmerica™ Network on

June 13, 2007

at

7:00 AM PT

/

10:00 AM ET

on the VoiceAmerica Women’s Channel http://www.voiceamerica.com/womensnetwork.com

Going home again

I'm just back from New York.  In NYC, my signing at the book expo went very well, and we got to see two Broadway plays:  "The Drowsy Chaperone" and "Chicago."    The concierge at our hotel got them for not much more than the price of the tickets, which was high enough.  The editor of Redbook magazine
took us out to lunch on Thursday, my signing at the Book Expo was Friday, and Wednesday night, we went to dinner with Tom Troyer, my only surviving cousin whom I haven't seen for 45 years! So, it was a great time. 

When we got upstate to my tiny country hometown, Roscoe. two of my kindergarten through high school classmates met us for dinner. I'm surprised at how little the town has changed. There are a couple of new restaurants and stores, the theater is torn down, there are new lampposts with flowers on the street, but, other than that, all the same houses are still there.

It was great all the way around.  It rained most of the time, too, including thunder and lightning, which we really enjoyed.

For me, it was a great closure.  I don't know that I'll ever see Roscoe again.  When I was 18, I had just left for college in August, 1962, and my dad died in October, the last of a large number of family I lost from age 12, when my maternal grandfather died, through several deaths of my paternal aunts.  I came home to see my dad in the hospital for a brief time before he died, then we went through the blur of the funeral, and I went back to school.  When summer break came around, my mom had sold the hotel I grew up in, and moved to Syracuse, so I never saw Roscoe again.  On this trip back home, I got to see my dad's grave, and say goodbye to all the places I remembered. A burden I didn't know I was carrying has lifted. 

Dr. Romance recognizes how important grieving is, even if it isn't done until many years later.  Finally letting go and saying goodbye to whatever or whomever was lost is necessary to being able to live fully in the present. If you're struggling with grief, the information in  "Surviving Loss and Thriving Again" may be helpful.

Have you gone home again?

Friday at the Zoo

Report from New York City: Yesterday was my day at the Book Expo America, fondly known to insiders as "The Zoo."  It's an overwhelming and hyperactive place.  Richard was a tremendous support -- he was my entire entourage.  What a difference from previous BEAs, in LA, where I've always gone alone.  The Javits Center in Manhattan is a cavernous place, like being in a giant airplane hangar, filled with book publishers' booths, and lots of energy.  Adams media had a great location for its authors to sign, and when my turn came, they dressed it up with a big poster for  Money, Sex and Kids, and another that said "Meet the Author." The alloted hour for my signing was packed with people, and fortunately Adams had plenty of bound galleys (the advance copy of the book, before the final edition comes out.) It's always fun meeting the people who come up to get a copy; and here there were lots of librarians, which is a good sign.  My hand was cramped by the time they cut me off because another author was due to sign.  Then Richard and I trudged the entire Javits center, visiting Career Press, St. Martin's Press, Wiley, Putnam and HCI to say hello to old friends.  At the BEA, publishers put out piles of new books or bound galleys you can just pick up as you're walking by, and many of them provide wonderful canvas bags to put the booty in.  Richard carried it all, plus several copies of my book we begged from Adams.  By the time we had covered all the bases and visited several old friends, we were worn out.  It was a great day, and we piled into a cab for the short trip to our hotel, because we were too tired to walk any more.  Doing this with Richard was amazing -- it's so much more fun and less stress with his cheerful companionship.  Later, we were thrilled to get tickets to The Drowsy Chaperone, a Tony-award winning Broadway show.  All in all, a great day.

Relationships seem out of fashion these days, people are getting married later or not at all, but Dr. Romance thinks that there's nothing better than having a loving companion to share life's struggles and successes.  Money, Sex and Kids is all about how to stop fighting and start enjoying each other, no matter what's going on. 

What's going on in your love life?